Pilit Kung Pilit

Having an extremely selfless partner drives you to question your blatant selfishness. Alipin sanguiguilid, I genuinely believe that he is one of the most dedicated doctors of his hospital. He passes up the chance to eat lunch just to tend to patients. Having known this, on certain occasions, I send him food, which I found out, he shares with his co-residents and the staff nurses that work with him. Mind you, I don't send him much, but he makes it a point to share the little I send him, so much so that I've made sure I send more than enough so that he gets to eat well even though he tends to share. He fits me into his schedule as best as he can, sometimes he asks me about my day, and I give him a rundown of the trivial bits of my daily engagements and routines. He listens to be babble as he walks home to his dorm, after being trapped in the hospital for more than 36 hours of work. Then he tells me that he's only had 2 hours of sleep and one decent meal during the tour of his duty.

Old School

Yesterday, I had a roll of film developed. The pictures are amazing, not exactly as fine as the digital cameras of today, but the pictures have a soft quality that is so pleasing to the eye. I know how convenient photography has become thanks to the digital age, the instant replay factor that allows for immediate editing is a good development in photography. It effectively saves on film and printing. But then again, the element of anticipation and surprise is gone. For all the pictures that were taken on my film camera, I had to risk getting a bad picture for those that I took myself with me in it and if I asked a third party to shoot it for me, I had to trust that person to get the picture right. There were no instant replays, each shot had to be the right one. Film cameras also require patience, it's knowing exactly when to take that shot, with the best lighting, best angles, in order for the pictures to come out beautifully. Much in the same way as waiting for the right one. Where everything is disposable, it is easy to fall into the trap of getting by with whatever comes along, anyway, with the power of instant replays, editing, deleting, is very easy and convenient. I would still like to believe that hearts are not so disposable. Waiting for that perfect shot, that perfect match, that perfect guy is like shooting a picture using a film camera. Figuring out where the light shines best, where the angles are perfect takes time, much like waiting patiently for the knight in the shining armor to come along. He will come along, if you wait long enough, if you are patient with the process. if you take what old school has to give. But old school has its own perils, not having the instant replay option can be a source of anxiety. This is where trust plays its biggest role. Just because the answers aren't as instantly available doesn't mean that it's doomed to fail. No. That just means you have to trust more, that you have to wait to consume all the shots of the film before having it printed out.

Ask Me Again Why

It's funny how hearing the cheesiest lines takes a lot out of me to get used to. Initially, I was hesitant to show signs of being "cheesy" and yet, here I am, just like every other love smitten girl, blushing at the sight of her cutie, hiding behind her giggly laugh. It's not really a willful activity, it's that combination of my stomach turning and my head wheezing with emotions that creates that propensity to be cheesy a reality. It's that subtle falling into the trap of listening to romantic songs and understanding exactly what they mean. I never thought I'd be one of those girls who just keeps rereading messages and still feeling like the first time she's read those lines.

Lego and Love

It's hard to explain.... when there are too many things going on. I'm glad I have time to process all of it, I've always let things happen so fast, until such time that I am severely overwhelmed by everything that's going on and I lose sight of what I can take. But I have time to process now, and more importantly, I have time to appreciate.

It's not at all mushy as I thought it would be, it's just simply looking at the eyes of the one you love and seeing everything impossible is yours to keep. It's a crazy notion, to feel so strong when all you do is share a friendship and choose to love one another. It's exponentially compounding the possibilities of your own life in another's - if that at all is possible. Maybe it is.


Lyrics to Lego House by Ed Sheeran
I'm gonna pick up the pieces,
and build a lego house
if things go wrong we can knock it down

My three words have two meanings,
there's one thing on my mind
It's all for you

And it's dark in a cold December,
but I've got ya to keep me warm
and if you're broken I will mend ya and keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
and out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now

I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now, now

I'm gonna paint you by numbers
and colour you in
if things go right we can frame it, and put you on a wall

And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before
and I will surrender up my heart
and swap it for yours

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
and out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now

I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now

Don't hold me down
I think my braces are breaking
and it's more than I can take

And if it's dark in a cold December,
I've got ya to keep me warm
and if you're broken then I will mend ya
and keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on, now

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
and out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now

I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
and out of all these things I've done
I will love you better now

I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
and out of all these things I've done
I will love you better now

Strength from Deep Within

When you let God take over, you stop feeling unhappy. The world becomes yours, opportunities open up, relationships become sweeter, love becomes a reality that overwhelms your systems and you become hypersensitive to the good of the world. The fears in your heart disappear and the shadows of the past fade away ever so quickly. You feel a surge of strength come from deep within, like you can take on the world's craziness without breaking into a sweat.

Sometimes, I think I'd wake up from this dream and it'll all be over, but I'm not dreaming, this is apparently real.

It took a while to get here, but I am here now.

Brian McKnight's Fall 5.0

I can see clearly even if I was blind
You've got me really going out of my mind
Things that you whisper soft in my ear
Words I've been wanting so long to hear

I don't know if it's real but I know how I feel
It's so crazy, so amazing
You can take me now

Got my back against the wall
Feels like I'm standing ten feet tall
On the ledge, too close to call
If you push I just might fall

I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall

When you're not near me I long for your touch
When you're right here with me I can't get enough
The way I used to think, girl, will never be the same
You reside deeply in my heart and my brain

I don't know if it's real but I know how I feel
It's so amazing, so crazy
I can't shake you now

Got my back against the wall
Feels like I'm standing ten feet tall
On the ledge, too close to call
If you push I just might fall

I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall

Each and every moment without you is moment
Thinking about you and nothing will ever be the same
Waited a lifetime to find you, just want to stay right beside you
I won't let it slip away

Got my back against the wall
Feels like I'm standing ten feet tall
On the ledge, too close to call
But if you push, I just might fall

I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall