A beach convert.

After having gone to one of the most beautiful beaches in the Philippines, I am now a convert from a sandhater to a beachlover. The sand was too smooth and clean and perfect that I almost threw away my beach sandals. I felt the sand on my feet and it was just wonderful. Why did I ever hate the beach in the first place? Now, I want to travel travel travel around the Philippines, see the other beaches, and appreciate the simplicity of just sitting on the beach, enjoying a cold mojito, listening to the waves hit the shore. It was the vacay that I didn't want to end.

80/50

Nurse at Medical City: Ma'm, bp niyo po is 90/60.
Chrissie: Sure ka ate?
Nurse: (retaking the BP) Ay ma'm, 80/50 pala.

And I thought that there would be a dramatic flashing of my life moment. Nope sorry, I guess I'm not going to die just yet. I just had that overwhelming desire to sleep. Like I thought that if I go to sleep, I'll be fine, I'll be better. I didn't want food, nor water, nor Gatorade. I wanted to sleep and all these people around me, didn't want me to go to sleep, they kept me awake and conscious and thankfully, undead.

Yes I'm not dead.

I was amazed at how people can be so generous. Today, I felt it, quite literally. It was nice.

If only my car could talk.

It would say:

CAn't you see I need some loving? When are you gonna get me some new shoes? Remember I need four. When are you going to get the brake lights fixed? Or are you waiting for the guys in blue to get you before you buy new lights? When are you gonna get the dent on the hood fixed? Rainy season is coming up, are you sure you're okay with these faulty wipers?

My mom is itching to get these things fixed. I keep telling her, why would I put money on car repairs when it's still functioning well?

Ah to be a girl and to have a car, it's like throwing a chef into a fastfood chain's kitchen. It's just so wrong in so many ways. Maybe if I wish for these repairs to come true, I won't have to pay for them, I'd rather spend money on cute outfits and kikay stuff than car repairs, it's so, well, un-fun (if such a word exists!). I wish I cared more, or, I wish I cared at all.

Hahahaha.

Checks.

Enrollment, check.

I think I can never be a full blooded UP student, I mean much as I would like to delay my studying, skip a semester, I just well, I couldn't bear to do it. I mean, I started this, I feel I ought to finish it, on time. That's probably my training from my undergraduate schooling. My classes this semester are going to be difficult, but I have committed myself, paid the tuition with my own money, and so I'm going to barrel through the deadlines and exams with gusto.

SPF 85 sunblock, check.

I am definitely excited for the beach this June with the bakasyonistas. Yes, I have made peace with the sand, and I realized that it's not so bad after all. And with footwear that is literally tied around my ankle, I'm all good. My fear of walking barefoot on hot sand have dissipated.

Can? Can.

I need to make peace with the fact that I have sand issues. I am one of those girls that when invited to join beach trips, I make some excuse like work to get out of it. Given the choice of a mountain trip or a beach trip, I'd rather go to the mountains.

You see, sand gets everywhere. Once you expose one inch of your skin to the beach, the sand invades and you're stuck with sand literally everywhere! Every frigging nook and cranny will be covered with sand. Then you have the walking on sand, I mean, I have the softest feet imaginable, and walking barefoot is close to torture. So I've tried walking with slippers, oh man, I sink and get stuck, walking takes forever.

But this weekend, I'm going to make peace with the sand, and end this hate relationship. I am going to have fun, and I'm not going to obssess about it and enjoy the beach like everyone else.

__________

Singlish, is nosebleed. Yesterday was the birthday of boss, so naturally, she's off the clock. So, I had to report to superboss directly and practice my singlish. Wow, I never thought dropping a transitive verb was so difficult. I had to strip my english bare, use the shortest imaginable verbs and be very specific when asking questions or giving report updates. I had to rethink my way of responding, he didn't like okays, because it's not outrightly a positive or a negative response. I realized that "okay" is very vague.

I mean how many times have we heard this:

A: Hey would you like a glass of water?
B: I'm okay.
A: Okay, yes, you'd like one? Or Okay, I'm good, I don't want it?

_______________

Seriously?

Ah, it's just one of those days, that I have to admit to myself.

I can't play with a tension-24 racket. Yes, moving from playing at the streetcorner to hard core took me about two years. It took that long time to realize that I could well, try to be good at it, even though I'm not just there yet. I know now that I can try. It's more than fun actually, it's that competitive drive, that "I want to outsmash that *toot toot*)

I didn't realize how much a racket can change the game, I mean, I've been pushing my arm so far out for the longest time but it's not as strong as I want it to be. And now with a newly strung racket, I suddenly feel like I have muscles, long overdue eh?

I've not been able to write anything lately because my free time has been aptly filled with bettering myb Plants and Zombies skills. Tons of topics everywhere, but I simply cam't string them together dramatically enough to be worthwhile read, so I'd just end up playing my game and well, cruising along.

Why is it always easier to not make sense then making sense?

Hello Longest Week of My Career.

Yes. It's going to be a long week for my two occupations. So we'll see if I don't end up looking like ground up coffee beans by the end of the week. Juggling's so hard, I've still not decided which occupation to put on the back burner so I'm spreading myself thinly and managing as best as I can (which by the way I'm not doing a good job of as of the moment <--- I can't even write a decent sentence). I'm not done writing the pros and cons lists.

So stressed.

I can't wait for the end of the week, I can't wait to alcohol up.

Favorite Singaporean Words

1. BLUR - this is the Singaporen version of, "Ewan". More than a cloudy mirror, or window, blur is that look that people give each when they just don't know what's going on.

2. Queue - Stand in line, wait for your turn.

3. Cannot-laaaaah - Note the really prolonged ah. Yes, they take the time to emphasize the important words like can and cannot.

4. Tapao - When you want your order to go, you just say tapao. Faster to say than take-away, take-out, to-go.

Channeling Erin Brockovich, "Suba" in Bataan

"So this is what Erin Brockovich felt"

Last weekend, I stayed holed up in my room to complete a job I committed for a friend. Nothing illicit nor illegal, it was just unusual. I was asked to channel Erin Brockovich by reading a bunch of laws and looking for patterns. Interestingly enough, I had fun. I mean surely, these laws are boring, vague and a tad bit outdated, but it was fun because somebody actually wrote these things. I was impressed by how these laws were written, each word was well thought out. I just wish that these laws were "REAL". By real I mean implemented, enforced and respected by the community. I know very little about the industry these laws were made for, but I know a friend who is in that industry and she attests that if these laws were actually in use, her business would be more robust.

Nonetheless, I felt like I did something important for this country. And that is always a good thing.

___________________________

"Suba"

Two weekends ago, I spent my Sunday on a farm. This is no farmville, no organic garden with a posh restaurant. No this is a for-real farm. Our hosts were using hardcore tagalog words like, "Gasak, giik, suba" in their conversation. They are a classic farming family and it inspired me to aspire having one. Seriously, I want one! The idea of picking fruit fresh from trees, being surrounded by miles of "palay", fresh air. Ahh. It was beautiful and fun! Time crept so slow that Sunday that I felt the true definition of being relaxed. Is it because if the world goes crumbles at that moment, we're surrounded by food and won't die as fast as those plagued by a lack of access to food? Is it because this is a place where life is cultivated, allowed to creep slowly in time and it was okay to just exist without being rushed to do everything all the time? This is heaven for a procrastinator like me.

But getting there was a long drive, and for once, I'm so happy that I didn't have to be the driver that day.

___________________________

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

*Try naman natin ang Tagalog, as inspired by a blog I've read quite recently.

Totoo pala ang Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. As in masakit ang espasyo sa pagitan ng hintuturo at hinlalaki ng kamay ko. Masakit magbukas ng bote at pumindot ng panlipat ng tsanel ng telebisyon. Nabuhay muli ang kaliwang kamay ko, meron pala akong reserbang kamay para sa panlipat ng tsanel ng telebisyon.

Natuklasan kong may ganito akong karamdaman dahil nahirapan akong magmaneho, masakit humawak ng manibela at ng kambiyo ng pangmatagalan. Sana mawala na ito bukas dahil marami pa akong excel file na kailangan usisain. Mahirap mapilay ang kamay sa paggamit ng daga.

War Should Be in the Movies, Not on the Streets

I've been watching a lot of news lately, this unrest in the middle east is unsettling. I hope that the OFW's out there are safe, if they can get out, I hope they do, soon. Is People Power finally catching on? Have those been trapped under the pain of dictatorship finally waking up to a new way of life?

Zap.Gibberish.

Right now, my brain is trying to comprehend where it is. And figuring out what work I've still got to sort through tonight. Oh yes, and the virtual lecture. I still have that today. So sleepy, so tired, so zapped out of my brain.

After the first game this morning, my heart literally was beating so fast against my chest that I thought I'd just collapse, and maybe faint. I had to catch my breath so many times during the game that my playing partner called me out, and said that he could cover more ground if I admit to feeling tired. I said, no, I'm not tired, and pushed my legs to move and played through the next two hours. Surely, one of the toughest days I've had on the court. Most of the guys thought I had a strong play, although they all said I need to run more.

I think the not sleeping adequately because of work, not getting any treadmill action, and eating less calories have made me ragged, exhausted and torn up this morning. And let's not forget to add to that list the traffic that I have to deal with when I'm trekking out to Manila. I will keep on bitching about it for as long as it's holding up my schedule.

Rooting for the Underdog, When the Villain is the Hero

I'd like to pretend for the next 15 minutes that my day went well. The operative word being... "pretend".

So I've finally finished watching, after many previous unsuccessful attempts, wait for it..... the play: "The Last Days of Judas Iscariot".

It was quite riveting, provided I only saw a youtube cam version of said broadway play. Judas Iscariot, trapped in purgatory, was tried for his act of betrayal and suicide. Several witnesses were called to the stand, his own mother, then there was Mother Teresa, Sigmund Freud, Caiaphas the Elder, Pontius Pilate, and of course the big guy himself, Satan. Yes, they all had something to say about Iscariot's humanity, or lack of it.

How brutally cruel was the world to Iscariot? Very. No wonder he was driven mad by the pain of his guilt, after all he betrayed his friend, the other big guy, JC. But without that betrayal, there would have been no judgement by Pontius Pilate, no crucifixion, no coming into glory. Would anybody really trade places with Iscariot? Would anybody really like to take his place on the star team 12? Sure, Peter, Matthew, even Mary Magdalene had it all easy. Their sacrifices were acknowledged, they were always on the good. They never had to live with the pain of guilt.

Then there's Iscariot, who we only remember for being cruel, we forget his humanity. We forget that he had a role to take, that maybe no one else was strong enough to be burdened by.

It was the ending that did it for me, it was riveting.... how the final showdown between Jesus and Iscariot went down. Iscariot was so lost in guilt, so trapped in his pain that he refuses to hear what Jesus was saying to him, how he truly felt, how much he loved him. And Iscariot, annoyed by his own destruction, and enraged by a madness, faded slowly and figuratively died once more, this time in the arms of his friend, Jesus. And then he washes his feet, humbling himself once more, making him more God than human, and at the same time, more human than anyone.

Every villain has a backstory worth listening to, every madness is rooted in the dischord of humanity.

We grow up hearing stories of the prince charming saving the beautiful princess from the evil witch. In childhood, we always root for the obvious hero, the gallant knight, the eloquent savior. In adulthood, we begin to see that the evil witch has her own story to tell, that the villain's life is more interesting, more captivating, more relatable as we go about our daily lives in the largely imperfect world. Humanity drives us to believe that the villain, the unlikely hero, is the more interesting character, the one we ought to reserve our claps for.

I'm also a fan of "Wicked", the story of the Wicked witch of the West as portrayed in the story of the Wizard of Oz. It is so easy to hate a vengeful, green witch with pointy tooth and a history of violence. And yet I was captivated by the story of this little green-skinned girl who grows up in a politically-unstable world. She is thrust into the fight against racial issues, and forced into reclusion in her latter years as her plight for equality is misunderstood.

The teartracks of those pained by life are battle scars that form the madness.

Pain-free

I am pain-free. Who would've thought? Well, I really didn't. Three months ago, I thought I wouldn't be able to in the least, walk. And now, all I need to do is to get back on the strict diet, up the metabolism, throw out the bad choice of foods, stop drinking, and pretty soon, I'll regain what physical strength I've gained prior to the injury.

Will the body to heal, and if your faith is strong, it will.

LAst monday, I had indigestion. Because I'm a nurse, I'd rather drink medication for it than take advice from my mother for non-traditional remedies. But I was, in too much agony to use my head on what pill to take, so my mom said, just drink a glass of Sprite. And in those moments, instead of rationalizing otherwise, I just said yes to her, after all, the cliche "Mothers know best" sometimes work for offspring taking on the sick-role.

Mind you, it worked, well I think it did. Or maybe the indigestion's passed by the time I've had my third glass of ice cold Sprite.

There are some boo-boos that can be healed by thinking outside of the box.

Story lines

I miss writing story lines. Maybe I'm not the best writer, but I used to have creative ideas on short stories, lately, I feel like I've run out. So instead of a dump for fiction, I'm using this blog as a dump for my off-tangent, seemingly unimportant musings. Largely insignificant in the greater scheme of things these afterthoughts are merely moments of quiet craziness that I'd like to believe is worth writing.

Naker = Naku + heller.

I am quite literally and figuratively, drowning in work. Yes, been too busy even to drop a line or two on this here blog. But now that I'm here, might as well do so.

Today, I played a couple of hours of badminton, and no more knee pain, YAY! Finally, although, I'm quite cautious now, and I refrain from overdoing it because that 5-day-barely-walk-stuck-in-bedrest nightmare is something I'd rather keep in the past. I don't want to ever have to deal with that kind of pain again. Ever. Although I have to admit, I'm a little rusty. I will get back on track, I'm on it.

Been noticing that gas prices have been up lately and it has landed on the big 50. This is actually a major pain because when I trek out to Manila, I consume a lot of gas, averaging maybe around 5 to 6 liters per roundtrip. This oil price hike is crippling and down right annoying, plus with all the traffic that I have to go through? Ugh, terrible.

Let me air my grudge on TRAFFIC. See there are two ways down the mountain from where I live. One straight through Mandaluyong/Ortigas/Libis and another through Marikina.

Yes, just two routes. ONLY TWO ROUTES.

And on both of these routes, somebody had the brilliant idea of fixing waterworks, expanding roads, building sidewalks ALL AT THE SAME TIME. So both routes are heavily clogged with traffic as one bottleneck follows another. It's such a nightmare because before all of this chaos, I had already memorized the previous waves of off-peaks so that I avoid the traffic, and now I'm just always stuck in the middle of it. Whether I travel in the dead of the night, the slow morning hours, it's always, ALWAYS traffic. In fact, for most days, it's so painful that I'd rather stay at home, or in the confines of the mountain where I live rather than trek out to Manila.

High voluminous never-ending, making-my-legs-cramp, kill-me-now traffic is just too much for my brain cells and electrolyte balance (hello, hypokalemia). Don't they ever coordinate with each other? Don't they understand how difficult it is for the locals to move about if they don't consider the amount of traffic they are causing? This is why disasters are ill-managed in the Philippines. Government bodies NEVER coordinate with each other. They forget that their constituents depend on them to acknowledge that they have to work together in serving the people.

Seaweed Pringles

I am officially back on the treadmill, FINALLY! I did my usual 30 minute, 3km slow jog last night and I am pushing my injured leg as far as it can work without debilitating pain. I cannot emphasize how grateful I am for recovering from the harrowing injury I had to suffer a good 8 weeks ago. I can still remember the five days I had to lie still on my bed due to the pain. There's still a bit of recurring pain, especially on the upper part of my left calf, but properly managed with exercise and good warm-up and cool-down regimens, it's going to eventually go away, fade. Then maybe I can run more efficiently and hopefully play longer on the badminton courts. The knee brace really does help, but I can't depend on it much because it keeps the knee positioned at a very specific angle, at some point it makes the playing more tiring than it ought to be.

Curbing the holiday diet with my "unfavoritest" food, my appetite's arch-enemy.... the dreaded oatmeal. This stuff's so good for me that going through a bowl of it every morning feels nothing short of slow prisonlike torture. Though my recent liking for the Seaweed PRingles does not help with the intended weight loss. It'll be a while before I stop buying a tube of this snippets of heaven.

Making Mojitos on a bright Sunny Sunday morning.

Yey for mojitos!

The thing about living in the faraway land of Rizal is that everything else is faraway. Sure having a car eases the burden of the trip home, but it still is a TRIP. Perhaps I just need better music in the car.

Yesterday was the second time I played badmin after my harrowing injury. When I woke up this morning, I panicked because the pain is present once more. My legs froze up last night, and I was again reminded of how it'll be quite some time before I can push my legs to it's previous extreme fitness regimes. I can't believe that my legs are asking me to be patient.

Opportunity Cost

So last night, I had dinner with a friend after a full day's of shopping at the mall. We had a long drawn-out debate as to whether or not we'd atted a refresher course for our profession or not. It's actually an expensive lecture, spread out in three days. Expensive boring lectures, not quite appetizing. We weighed the pros and cons, the opportunity costs.

What could that fee we'd pay for the lecture otherwise buy?

Movies, shirts, cups of joe, cases of beer, books, we went on and o, making the lecture less appealing. I mean who really wants to attend a boring lecture?

The most interesting opportunity cost that we'd give up the lecture for would be, dinner at Spiral.

And then, I'm convinced that I'd rather have an expensive dinner than sit down for a boring lecture. My friend had been at Spiral before and the way it was described.... ahh. I had dreams about it last night.

Three kinds of chocolate fondue.
Custom-made sushi rolls.
Plates full of freshly grilled lamb.
Shrimp, both shelled and unshelled.

I did dream about having a fantastic dinner at Spiral, in my favorite pretty blue dress. Ahh... Food, glorious food. Nothing can beat that.

Must Hit Save

Yesterday, 4 hours of work went down the drain. I failed to hit SAVE right before the file corrupted. I almost cried.